Published!

I’ve only written three letters to magazines in my life. The first was in 1977 when I wrote to Time Magazine to protest the limited coverage of the death of Groucho Marx compared to the multiple pages devoted to the death of Elvis Presley, who died the same week. I got a reply by mail from someone at Time, explaining that the reason for the disparity in coverage was that Groucho was old and the death of Elvis was unexpected. My letter was not published.

The second letter I wrote was to Reader’s Digest circa 1982. I sent what I thought was a humorous story for publication. It was this: My four-year-old daughter was watching Saturday morning cartoons on television when an ad for a movie came on. She turned to me and said, “Daddy, will you take me to see that movie?” “Okay,” I said. “Where is it playing?” My daughter replied, “At a theater near you.” Reader’s Digest did not publish the story.

This year, I was surfing online and I came across the website for Real Simple magazine. There was a question of the month: “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you worry about money and why?” I submitted what I thought was a clever response:

“I don’t worry about money. I worry about the lack of it. I’m a 10. Notwithstanding what they say about love, it’s money that makes the world go around. The lack of it makes you stand still and worry.”

Shortly thereafter, I received an e-mail from someone at the magazine asking permission to publish my response. I gave it. In the March, 2008 issue of Real Simple magazine, you can read my response at the top of page 56.

I have finally been published!