I’m thinking of suing someone for false labeling.
The other night we ordered Chinese takeout. As usual, after spooning some brown rice onto my plate, I reached for a packet of soy sauce. For some reason, I began to read the ingredients listed on the packet. I knew from past experience that ingredients are listed in descending order. This particular packet listed a total of six ingredients: water, salt, vegetable protein, corn syrup, caramel color and 1/10 of 1% sodium benzoate.
Buy wait! Where was the soy?
It turns out there is no soy in American made packets of “soy” sauce.
Just to make sure I wasn’t missing something, I went to the refrigerator and located a bottle of Kikkoman soy sauce. Sure enough, the ingredient label read: water, wheat, soy beans, salt, less than 0.10% sodium benzoate as a preservative.
So, should I sue the Chinese takeout restaurant or the American manufacturer of “soy” sauce for false labeling? Or should I just shut up and eat?
Either way, I’ll probably be hungry about an hour later.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Customer Service
The other day, a friend who works at the customer service desk of a department store told this story:
A woman called and said. “ I just got home and I noticed there was only one shoe in the box of shoes I bought today.”
Customer Service Rep: “Didn’t you check that there were two shoes in the box when you bought them?
Customer on the phone: “No. I tired the shoe on and didn’t realize the other one was missing.”
CS Rep: “Okay, just bring it back and we’ll refund your money.”
Customer: “Oh, no, I like the shoe. I just want you to look for the missing one.”
You can’t make this stuff up.
A woman called and said. “ I just got home and I noticed there was only one shoe in the box of shoes I bought today.”
Customer Service Rep: “Didn’t you check that there were two shoes in the box when you bought them?
Customer on the phone: “No. I tired the shoe on and didn’t realize the other one was missing.”
CS Rep: “Okay, just bring it back and we’ll refund your money.”
Customer: “Oh, no, I like the shoe. I just want you to look for the missing one.”
You can’t make this stuff up.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Fortune
At dinner the other night, I opened three Chinese fortune cookies. They were very specific. One read: “You will inherit some money.” Another read: “Your love life will be happy and harmonious.” The third read: “It is a sunny day.”
In fewer than 24 hours, one of them came true.
Then it got dark again.
In fewer than 24 hours, one of them came true.
Then it got dark again.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
A Perry Mason Surprise
I grew up watching television in the 1950s. One of my favorite shows was Perry Mason, the criminal defense attorney who always won his case before the end of the hour. He had a secretary/gal Friday named Della Street and a private investigator named Paul Drake. His usual opponent was prosecutor, Hamilton Burger.
As I recall, there was never anything mentioned about Perry’s home life. Was he married? Did he have children? What did he do in his spare time? None of that seemed to matter since the show was all about the courtroom drama and how Perry figured out who the real criminal was. It always amazed me that he only defended innocent people – he never won a case based on reasonable doubt, a standard whereby even guilty people were acquitted because of a lack of evidence. There was always another person who confessed from the witness stand before the episode ended.
Perry Mason was one of the reasons I became a lawyer. It should be noted that I was also a big fan of TV westerns, but there didn’t seem to be much of a future in being a cowboy.
I must also admit that E.G. Marshall of The Defenders was also an influence. His young associate was played by actor Robert Reed, who later came out of the closet, but who displayed no hint of gayness on the show. Which brings me to the shocking revelation that the actor who played Perry Mason, Raymond Burr, old Ironsides himself, was gay.
I learned this by reading a newspaper article by the author of a book titled, “Hiding in Plain Sight: The Secret Life of Raymond Burr.” The author, Michael Starr, wrote this:
“…he did a complete about-face from his TV alter-ego, concocting a web of deceit that included two dead wives and a dead son, fabrications repeated so many times that Burr dug himself into a hole – forced to play the heartbroken husband-and-father role to the end of his life….no one ever questioned Burr’s ‘biography,’ even though family members as close as his sister said they never met any of his dead wives or his son – and even though the dates Burr gave for his tragic losses didn’t compute when matched to the verifiable facts of his life.”
As Jerry Seinfeld so correctly stated in an episode of his classic sitcom, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” It’s just that I never imagined Raymond Burr in that way. I guess I should be thankful that they never showed Perry Mason’s home life, or I might have concluded that he, too, was of that persuasion.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
As I recall, there was never anything mentioned about Perry’s home life. Was he married? Did he have children? What did he do in his spare time? None of that seemed to matter since the show was all about the courtroom drama and how Perry figured out who the real criminal was. It always amazed me that he only defended innocent people – he never won a case based on reasonable doubt, a standard whereby even guilty people were acquitted because of a lack of evidence. There was always another person who confessed from the witness stand before the episode ended.
Perry Mason was one of the reasons I became a lawyer. It should be noted that I was also a big fan of TV westerns, but there didn’t seem to be much of a future in being a cowboy.
I must also admit that E.G. Marshall of The Defenders was also an influence. His young associate was played by actor Robert Reed, who later came out of the closet, but who displayed no hint of gayness on the show. Which brings me to the shocking revelation that the actor who played Perry Mason, Raymond Burr, old Ironsides himself, was gay.
I learned this by reading a newspaper article by the author of a book titled, “Hiding in Plain Sight: The Secret Life of Raymond Burr.” The author, Michael Starr, wrote this:
“…he did a complete about-face from his TV alter-ego, concocting a web of deceit that included two dead wives and a dead son, fabrications repeated so many times that Burr dug himself into a hole – forced to play the heartbroken husband-and-father role to the end of his life….no one ever questioned Burr’s ‘biography,’ even though family members as close as his sister said they never met any of his dead wives or his son – and even though the dates Burr gave for his tragic losses didn’t compute when matched to the verifiable facts of his life.”
As Jerry Seinfeld so correctly stated in an episode of his classic sitcom, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” It’s just that I never imagined Raymond Burr in that way. I guess I should be thankful that they never showed Perry Mason’s home life, or I might have concluded that he, too, was of that persuasion.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Teaching Children
Here’s an interesting quote, which I came across quite by accident:
“Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.”
Pablo Picasso (1881–1973)
Even without ever seeing this quote before, I think I raised both my daughters with this philosophy in mind. Maybe that’s why one of them once thought the capital of the United States was England. LOL.
One daughter teaches third grade students and the other prosecutes juvenile delinquents. Yet, each in their own way, is working to make the world worthy of its children.
But one thing scares me. It seems that one of my daughters has taken up boxing at her gym. I hope it’s only for defensive purposes!
“Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.”
Pablo Picasso (1881–1973)
Even without ever seeing this quote before, I think I raised both my daughters with this philosophy in mind. Maybe that’s why one of them once thought the capital of the United States was England. LOL.
One daughter teaches third grade students and the other prosecutes juvenile delinquents. Yet, each in their own way, is working to make the world worthy of its children.
But one thing scares me. It seems that one of my daughters has taken up boxing at her gym. I hope it’s only for defensive purposes!
Senior Citizens
Someone e-mailed the following to me and I thought I would share it. Normally I would just e-mail it to friends, but if I'm not violating protocol, I'm posting it here. I think it speaks for our generation, much like Billy Joel's "We didn't start the fire" and I wish I had written it.
Here is the e-mail:
Hi ah,....Hummm let me think ,...why did I send you this......don't tell me it's coming to me.....Oh yeah....Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took:
The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement, or,
God out of government and school.
And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!And, we do understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country.Does anyone under the age of 50 know the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner? Just look at the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention, on veterans day and our great country's birthday .
YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!
I'm the life of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 p.m.I'm very good at opening childproof caps... with a hammer.I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going. I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying. I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over... I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not nearly as cute as mine. I'm so cared for --- long term care, eye care, private care, dental care.I'm not really grouchy,I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids, Jenny Craig and Toyota commercials, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can't seem to remember right now.I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.I'm having trouble remembering simple words like.......I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days, and when did they let kids become policemen?I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just lost the key to the storeroom door.
Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!
Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't send it back to them, but I would send it to many more!Now- Have I already sent this to you???????If so, I'll try not to do it again (for a while.)
Here is the e-mail:
Hi ah,....Hummm let me think ,...why did I send you this......don't tell me it's coming to me.....Oh yeah....Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took:
The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement, or,
God out of government and school.
And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!And, we do understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country.Does anyone under the age of 50 know the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner? Just look at the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention, on veterans day and our great country's birthday .
YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!
I'm the life of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 p.m.I'm very good at opening childproof caps... with a hammer.I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going. I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying. I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over... I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not nearly as cute as mine. I'm so cared for --- long term care, eye care, private care, dental care.I'm not really grouchy,I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids, Jenny Craig and Toyota commercials, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can't seem to remember right now.I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.I'm having trouble remembering simple words like.......I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days, and when did they let kids become policemen?I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just lost the key to the storeroom door.
Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!
Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't send it back to them, but I would send it to many more!Now- Have I already sent this to you???????If so, I'll try not to do it again (for a while.)
Protecting our children?
The other day I was browsing in a store and came upon the CD section. One jewel case in particular caught my attention. Not because of the title or artist – I had never heard of either – but because of the sticker affixed to the outside. It read: PARENTAL ADVISORY.
I had heard of these warning labels, which I think came about when Tipper Gore campaigned to have the recording industry notify parents of material which they might find objectionable for their children. Nothing wrong with that, as long as it doesn’t interfere with free speech. But this particular Parental Advisory Label struck me as odd. Underneath the bold letters were slightly smaller letters indicating the type of potentially objectionable material.
There were only two words. The words were not “sexually explicit” or “violent language” as one might expect. The words were: “Christian Lyrics.”
Now I can understand that some atheists, like the late Madeline Murray O’Hare, might not want their children to hear such dangerous lyrics, for fear that they might come under some cult-like spell. But I have to wonder what our founding fathers would have thought of this warning label when they indicated we were one nation, under God.
As Walt Kelly wrote in the comic strip POGO, “We have met the enemy and he is us.”
I had heard of these warning labels, which I think came about when Tipper Gore campaigned to have the recording industry notify parents of material which they might find objectionable for their children. Nothing wrong with that, as long as it doesn’t interfere with free speech. But this particular Parental Advisory Label struck me as odd. Underneath the bold letters were slightly smaller letters indicating the type of potentially objectionable material.
There were only two words. The words were not “sexually explicit” or “violent language” as one might expect. The words were: “Christian Lyrics.”
Now I can understand that some atheists, like the late Madeline Murray O’Hare, might not want their children to hear such dangerous lyrics, for fear that they might come under some cult-like spell. But I have to wonder what our founding fathers would have thought of this warning label when they indicated we were one nation, under God.
As Walt Kelly wrote in the comic strip POGO, “We have met the enemy and he is us.”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
