Return address labels

I once heard a comedian ask this question: “Has there ever been a week when mattresses were not on sale?”

Anyone who buys a Sunday newspaper knows how funny that is.

Who are they selling these mattresses to, anyway? How often does one buy a new mattress? But I digress. Mattresses are not the subject of this post. Return address labels are. Nevertheless, the question is similar: Does a week go by when you don’t receive a letter with a sheet of “free” return address labels which have your name and address printed on them?

These “free” labels come in all sizes, shapes and colors. In the old days, they were glue backed labels which you had to wet to make stick. Nowadays, just like modern postage stamps, they have sticky backs. All you have to do is peel and stick.

For the most part, these labels are sent by legitimate charitable organizations, usually religious or medical. Around Christmas time they often include stickers for gift packages, such as “Don’t open till Christmas” or “To _____ From _____.” Many times, they are useful.

Here’s the problem I have with them. If you use them without sending a contribution to the charity, you feel guilty. Of course, you are under no legal obligation to pay for unsolicited gifts, but you still feel bad if you use them without contributing.

However, sending a check to these charities has two negative ramifications. First, the charity knows they’ve got a live donor, so they then send you more stickers and other things, like note pads and wrapping paper. And they increase the amount of the “suggested” contribution with each mailing. Second, I am convinced they sell lists of donors to other organizations. Before long, your mailbox is inundated with more “free” address labels than you can use in a lifetime. And each envelope also contains a request for money.

Talk about “sticker shock.”